Holding On
by FriskyBusiness
Summary: S/S Vaughn and Syd are married, Sark can't sleep at night...*CH2up*
1. Sark

Holding On  
  
*SD-6 is gone, Syd and Vaughn have been married, Sark is jealous*  
  
  
  
All he ever wanted was Sydney, to feel her soft skin against his once more. To be able to kiss her beautiful lips and know that they were his forever. To be able to take a stroll in the park and sling his arm casually around her delicate figure and have that smile, such a sweet smile, beam up at him as they playfully teased each other. It ate away at him every day, the longing, the pain. She wasn't his. It made him sick to imagine Vaughn taking her to dinner, running his finger over her cheekbones, whispering words of passion in her ears. Sark wanted that, needed that, and it killed him.  
  
That should be me. Sydney should be mine.  
  
This infatuation filled his thoughts day and night. He could not fall asleep thinking of how it was Vaughn that got to snuggle close to her before they drifted off and whisper "I love you" every night. It was Vaughn that could stroke her hair and hold her close while watching a movie. It was Vaughn who could caress her graceful neck with kiss after kiss and take her breath away. It was Vaughn. Sark was tortured. Even the nights he was able to slip into a restless sleep, he would awake to a pounding headache. Open his eyes to the reality that she wasn't next to him on the bed. Wake up to have dizziness overcome him. Sometimes he was confused.  
  
Why didn't Sydney choose me?  
  
Most days he was angry and upset. He couldn't erase the memory of her from his mind. It was etched on his heart. He remembered about one time. The memory that kept him hanging onto her, the memory that wouldn't go away.  
  
*flashback*a dark hotel room in Russia*  
  
"Sydney." He moaned as the rhythmic movements of they're bodies made his heart beat faster.  
  
Almost like a dream the night had unfolded to this. Earlier that evening Sydney and Sark had raced each other to steal a disk from a man named Boris Smirnoff. Sark won this time; knocking Sydney down with a kick to the head. Smirking, "Miss Bristow, looks like I've won again." as he turned and ran out of the dank office, leaving Sydney with the unconscious Smirnoff on the floor. It didn't take long, however for Sydney to pick herself up and chase after him, until a thought crossed her mind and a smug smile crept across her face. She trailed Sark at a distance now, determined to get the disk back.  
  
Sark heard a knock on his hotel door. Cocking his gun, he stood to the side and opened the door carefully. Like lightning, the door was forced towards him and a gun pointed at his nose. "Don't. Move." She growled. Plucking his gun from his fingers, she proceeded to unload it, toss it across the room and then smirk Sark's famous smirk.  
  
"Ahh Miss Bristow.I see you are enjoying this, I'm elated you stopped by to chat. You found me rather easily"  
  
"Don't flatter yourself, you know what I'm here for. And you are rather easy to tail. Give me the disk now."  
  
"Are you sure you didn't come for something else"  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mea-"  
  
Sark had taken the opportunity to make a quick grab for her gun, ending up smacking it onto the floor. The two made eye contact for one second-her eyes glittering with malice, his eyes glittering with game- and then both dove for the gun. After a short struggle, Sark snatched it up and quickly pointed it at Sydney before they had a chance to stand.  
  
"This is what I mean" he said as he leaned over and kissed her. At first, Sydney tried to resist, but then Sark deepened the kiss and Sydney gave in, rolling over on top of him, violently unbuttoning his shirt and unzipping his pants. Sark then flipped her onto her back and did the same. Pausing for a second, they moved up onto the bed and then continued until all of the clothes were scattered on the floor, and it was just skin touching skin as they explored each other with a kind of fury unexplained.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Sark had thought that they had felt something real, true, and genuine. Now he wasn't sure anymore if it was honest love, or just a sudden desire, an intense spur-of-the-moment attraction that their bodies felt. He was still hopeful. And that's why he couldn't let her memory go. That's why he needed to hold on. 


	2. Sydney

~Okay I know, shorty chapter- Sorry! I'm not exactly sure what to write next, so maybe a new chapter in a few days. Thanks for all the great reviews! I am still trying to figure out how to enable unsigned reviewing because I want to hear everybody's opinions~  
  
*Sydney POV*  
  
She guessed she was happy. Content would almost describe it. After the take-down Vaughn had asked her to marry him. She loved him, she really did, she had always had feelings for him. It had been a while since they had gotten married, just enough time to let the question sink in. The question that had been tickling the back of her mind since she had said yes to Vaughn.  
  
Did she really want this?  
  
Ever since that night in Russia with Sark her feelings had been mixed. He was in her system, almost like a drug. Small cravings every once in a while, easy to keep under control. Quicker heartbeat when thinking of Sark...sometimes dreamt of him. Waking up feeling dizzy, nauseous, panicky; then Vaughn would comfort her thinking she was dreaming of being chased or tortured by Sloane. He would tell her that SD-6 was all over, all gone, she was safe from them. Vaughn didn't know. Vaughn would never know what she really dreamed about.  
  
What scared her most was that Sark probably didn't care. He probably didn't think about it ever again. Just sex, that's it. No need to dwell on it. Syd wasn't sure. She felt something more, but she doubted Sark would ever pursue a real relationship; emotional attachments slow you down, an extra burden, one more thing you have to worry about.  
  
After one of those dreams about Sark, Syd woke up and (after reassuring Vaughn she was okay and after she was sure he was asleep) went out onto the porch of their small apartment to think. Before the dreams came about once a week, now she was thinking of Sark constantly, and dreaming almost every night. She wanted him back inside of her. She felt guilty with this thought and retreated to the couch to sleep, she did not want to wake Vaughn up again, she didn't feel like talking.  
  
* * *  
  
"Syd. Syd, wake up." Vaughn was stroking her shoulder lovingly.  
  
What....oh, Vaughn.  
  
"Morning" Syd managed to croak out groggily. The sun was in her eyes. She looked over at the clock- 10.12  
  
"Honey, what are you doing on the couch?" Vaughn sat down next to her feet and rubbed her leg gently with his hand. Syd noticed her arm start to tingle because she had fallen asleep on it.  
  
"Oh" She said quietly, "I woke up in the middle of the night, I didn't want to wake you up again..." She smelled coffee and could faintly hear the coffeemaker in the kitchen.  
  
"Syd, you know I don't mind. We have been over this before, whenever you have one of those dreams you can always wake me up, I'm here for you." He said softly.  
  
Protective handler role...  
  
"I know, Vaughn, it's just that-"  
  
"Syd we're married, you can talk to me, wake me up, you know that."  
  
Syd sat up on the couch now, fully awake. Her arm had stopped tingling; the coffee maker had stopped making noise.  
  
"I know. I guess it's just-"  
  
"Just what. Syd, we need to talk. You have been so distant lately, most of the time it's like your not here, and you won't even tell me what bothers you so much."  
  
"Vaughn, Listen-" She really didn't feel like a fight on their day off.  
  
"No, I can't listen Syd, you can't even call me Michael. I will always be Vaughn to you won't I, Syd? Just your handler, right? You won't let me in that close, will you? It's like in your mind we aren't even married, still handler and asset."  
  
"Vau- Michael, that's not true, you know that."  
  
"I don't know Syd, I'm just not sure." He got up and walked into the bathroom. Syd heard the shower turn on. She sighed. I'm sorry Vaughn, she thought. I'm not sure either. She folded the blanket up and padded into the kitchen. 


End file.
